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May is Mental Health Awareness Month, providing us a chance to go beyond discussing the screening, diagnosis, and evidence-based treatments for the mental illnesses of youth. Just as children are developing physical health, they are similarly establishing the foundations for their mental health. The World Health Organization defines good mental health as “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her own community.” While the science of mental health promotion and disease prevention in childhood and adolescence is relatively young, there are several discrete domains in which you can follow and support your patient’s developing mental health. This begins with the well-being of new parents, and then moves into how parents are helping their children to develop skills to manage their basic daily needs and impulses, their thoughts and feelings, their stresses and their relationships. With a little support from you, parents can confidently help their children develop the foundations for good mental health.

First year of life: Parental mental health

Swick_Susan_D_CA_web.jpg
Dr. Susan D. Swick

Perhaps the strongest risk factor for serious mental illness in childhood and adulthood is parental neglect during the first year of life, and neglect in the first several months of life is the most commonly reported form of child abuse. Infant neglect is associated with parental depression (and other mental illnesses), parental substance use, and a parent’s own experience of childhood abuse or neglect. Neglect is more common with teenaged parents and parents living in poverty. Pediatricians are uniquely connected to families during the first year of a child’s life. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends screening new mothers for depression at 1-, 2-, 4-, and 6-month infant check-ups with the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Screen. Even without a positive screen, new parents may need the fortifications of extra community support to adapt to the changes parenthood brings.

At checkups, ask (both) parents how they are managing the stresses of a new baby. Are they getting restful sleep? Do they have social supports? Are they connected to a community (friends, extended family, faith) or isolated? Are they developing confidence as parents or feeling overwhelmed? Simple guidance, such as “sleep when the baby sleeps” and reassurance that taking good care of themselves is taking good care of the baby is always helpful. Sometimes you will need to refer for treatment or to community supports. Have your list of online and in-person resources at the ready to provide parents with these prescriptions. Supporting parental mental health and adjustment in the first year of life is possibly the most important building block for their child’s future mental health.
 

Toddlers and up: Emotional literacy

Emotional literacy (sometimes called “emotional intelligence”) is the capacity to recognize, identify, and manage feelings in oneself and in others. This skill begins to develop in infancy when parents respond to their baby’s cries with attunement, feeding or changing them if needed, and at other times simply reflecting their feelings and soothing them with movement, singing, or quiet talking. As children grow, so does their range of feelings, and their (cognitive) capacity to identify and manage them. Parents support this development by being available whenever their young children experience strong emotions, calmly listening, and acknowledging their discomfort. Parents can offer words for describing those feelings, and even be curious with their young children where in their bodies they are feeling them, how they can stay patient while the feeling passes or things they might be able to do to feel better. Parents may want to remove their child’s distress, but staying calm, curious, and present while helping their child to manage it will build their child’s emotional health. Parents can nurture this development in a less intense way by reading books about feelings together and noticing and identifying feelings in other children or in cartoon characters.

 

 

School-age children: Adding mindfulness

While a child’s cognitive development unfolds naturally, school-age children can cultivate awareness of their thoughts. This becomes possible after awareness of feelings and parents can help their older children consider whether something they are experiencing is a thought, a feeling, or a fact. They do so in the same way they helped their child develop emotional literacy: By responding with calm, curiosity, and confidence every time their child comes to them in distress (especially mild distress, like boredom!) or with a challenge or a question. With a difficult situation, parents start by helping their child to identify thoughts and feelings before impulsively acting on them. Parents can help children identify what’s in their control, try different approaches, and be flexible if their first efforts don’t work. Children need to learn that failing at things is how we learn and grow. Just like learning to ride a bike, it builds their frustration tolerance, their knowledge that they can do difficult things, and that distress subsides. These are critical building blocks for adolescence, when the challenges become greater and they manage them more independently.

Jellinek_Michael_S 2019_web.jpg
Dr. Michael S. Jellinek

Learning “mindfulness” (a practice that cultivates nonjudgmental awareness of one’s own thoughts, feelings, and sensations) can help children (and parents) to cultivate quiet self-awareness outside of moments of difficulty. “Stop, Breathe, and Think” and “Mindful gNATs” are two free apps that are recommended by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry for children (and their parents) to use to practice this awareness of thoughts and feelings.
 

Early and later adolescence: Stress management skills

Building on this awareness of thoughts and emotions, adolescents develop adaptive coping skills by facing challenges with the support of their parents nearby. Parents should still be ready to respond to charged emotional moments with calm and curiosity, validating their child’s distress while helping them to consider healthy responses. Helping their teenager to describe their experience, differentiating feelings from thoughts (and facts), and considering different choices within their control is foundational to resilience in adulthood. Parents also help their teenagers by reminding them of the need for good self-care (sleep, exercise, nutrition), nourishing social relationships, and protecting time for rest and recharging activities. Sometimes, parents will think with their teenager about why they are engaged in an activity that is stressful, whether it is authentically important to them, and why. Adolescents should be deepening their sense of identity, interests, talents, and even values, and stressful moments are rich opportunities to do so, with the support of caring adults. Without intentionally building these skills, adolescents will be more prone to managing stress with avoidance or unhealthy coping, such as excessive eating, video gaming, drugs, or alcohol.

Infancy and up: Behavioral healthy habits (sleep, physical activity, nutrition, and screen time)

Healthy habits sound simple, but establishing them is not always easy. The idea of a habit is that it makes managing something challenging or important more automatic, and thus easier and more reliable. Many of the same habits that promote physical health in adulthood also promote mental health: adequate, restful sleep; daily physical activity; a nutritious diet and a healthy relationship with food; and managing screen time in a developmentally appropriate way. Infants depend entirely on their parents for regulation of these behaviors. As their children grow, parents will adapt these routines so that their children are gradually regulating these needs and activities more independently. In each of these areas, children need clear expectations and routines, consistent consequences and positive feedback, and the modeling and patient support of their parents. Educate parents about what good sleep hygiene looks like at each age. Discuss ways to support regular physical activity, especially as a family. Ask the parents about nutrition, including how they manage picky eating; how many family meals they enjoy together; and whether food is ever used to manage boredom or distress. Finally, talk with parents about a developmentally appropriate approach to rules and expectations around screen time and the importance of using family-based rules. Establishing expectations and routines during early childhood means children learn how good it feels to have restful sleep, regular exercise, and happy, healthy family meals. In adolescence, parents can then focus on helping their children to manage temptation, challenge, disappointment, and frustration more independently.

 

 

Infancy and up: Relational health

Children develop the skills needed for healthy relationships at home, and they are connected to all of the skills described above. Children need attuned, responsive, and reliable parenting to build a capacity for trust of others, to learn how to communicate honestly and effectively, to learn to expect and offer compassion and respect, and to learn how to handle disagreement and conflict. They learn these skills by watching their parents and by developing the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral healthy habits with their parents’ help. They need a consistently safe and responsive environment at home. They need parents who are attuned and flexible, while maintaining routines and high expectations. They need parents who make time for them when they are sad or struggling, and make time for joy, play, and mindless fun. While a detailed assessment of how the family is functioning may go beyond a check-up, you can ask about those routines that build healthy habits (family mealtime, sleep routines, screen time rules), communication style, and what the family enjoys doing together. Learning about how a family is building these healthy habits and how connected they are to one another can give you a clear snapshot of how well a child may be doing on their mental health growth curve, and what areas might benefit from more active guidance and support.

Dr. Swick is physician in chief at Ohana Center for Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health, Community Hospital of the Monterey (Calif.) Peninsula. Dr. Jellinek is professor emeritus of psychiatry and pediatrics, Harvard Medical School, Boston. Email them at pdnews@mdedge.com.

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month, providing us a chance to go beyond discussing the screening, diagnosis, and evidence-based treatments for the mental illnesses of youth. Just as children are developing physical health, they are similarly establishing the foundations for their mental health. The World Health Organization defines good mental health as “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her own community.” While the science of mental health promotion and disease prevention in childhood and adolescence is relatively young, there are several discrete domains in which you can follow and support your patient’s developing mental health. This begins with the well-being of new parents, and then moves into how parents are helping their children to develop skills to manage their basic daily needs and impulses, their thoughts and feelings, their stresses and their relationships. With a little support from you, parents can confidently help their children develop the foundations for good mental health.

First year of life: Parental mental health

Swick_Susan_D_CA_web.jpg
Dr. Susan D. Swick

Perhaps the strongest risk factor for serious mental illness in childhood and adulthood is parental neglect during the first year of life, and neglect in the first several months of life is the most commonly reported form of child abuse. Infant neglect is associated with parental depression (and other mental illnesses), parental substance use, and a parent’s own experience of childhood abuse or neglect. Neglect is more common with teenaged parents and parents living in poverty. Pediatricians are uniquely connected to families during the first year of a child’s life. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends screening new mothers for depression at 1-, 2-, 4-, and 6-month infant check-ups with the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Screen. Even without a positive screen, new parents may need the fortifications of extra community support to adapt to the changes parenthood brings.

At checkups, ask (both) parents how they are managing the stresses of a new baby. Are they getting restful sleep? Do they have social supports? Are they connected to a community (friends, extended family, faith) or isolated? Are they developing confidence as parents or feeling overwhelmed? Simple guidance, such as “sleep when the baby sleeps” and reassurance that taking good care of themselves is taking good care of the baby is always helpful. Sometimes you will need to refer for treatment or to community supports. Have your list of online and in-person resources at the ready to provide parents with these prescriptions. Supporting parental mental health and adjustment in the first year of life is possibly the most important building block for their child’s future mental health.
 

Toddlers and up: Emotional literacy

Emotional literacy (sometimes called “emotional intelligence”) is the capacity to recognize, identify, and manage feelings in oneself and in others. This skill begins to develop in infancy when parents respond to their baby’s cries with attunement, feeding or changing them if needed, and at other times simply reflecting their feelings and soothing them with movement, singing, or quiet talking. As children grow, so does their range of feelings, and their (cognitive) capacity to identify and manage them. Parents support this development by being available whenever their young children experience strong emotions, calmly listening, and acknowledging their discomfort. Parents can offer words for describing those feelings, and even be curious with their young children where in their bodies they are feeling them, how they can stay patient while the feeling passes or things they might be able to do to feel better. Parents may want to remove their child’s distress, but staying calm, curious, and present while helping their child to manage it will build their child’s emotional health. Parents can nurture this development in a less intense way by reading books about feelings together and noticing and identifying feelings in other children or in cartoon characters.

 

 

School-age children: Adding mindfulness

While a child’s cognitive development unfolds naturally, school-age children can cultivate awareness of their thoughts. This becomes possible after awareness of feelings and parents can help their older children consider whether something they are experiencing is a thought, a feeling, or a fact. They do so in the same way they helped their child develop emotional literacy: By responding with calm, curiosity, and confidence every time their child comes to them in distress (especially mild distress, like boredom!) or with a challenge or a question. With a difficult situation, parents start by helping their child to identify thoughts and feelings before impulsively acting on them. Parents can help children identify what’s in their control, try different approaches, and be flexible if their first efforts don’t work. Children need to learn that failing at things is how we learn and grow. Just like learning to ride a bike, it builds their frustration tolerance, their knowledge that they can do difficult things, and that distress subsides. These are critical building blocks for adolescence, when the challenges become greater and they manage them more independently.

Jellinek_Michael_S 2019_web.jpg
Dr. Michael S. Jellinek

Learning “mindfulness” (a practice that cultivates nonjudgmental awareness of one’s own thoughts, feelings, and sensations) can help children (and parents) to cultivate quiet self-awareness outside of moments of difficulty. “Stop, Breathe, and Think” and “Mindful gNATs” are two free apps that are recommended by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry for children (and their parents) to use to practice this awareness of thoughts and feelings.
 

Early and later adolescence: Stress management skills

Building on this awareness of thoughts and emotions, adolescents develop adaptive coping skills by facing challenges with the support of their parents nearby. Parents should still be ready to respond to charged emotional moments with calm and curiosity, validating their child’s distress while helping them to consider healthy responses. Helping their teenager to describe their experience, differentiating feelings from thoughts (and facts), and considering different choices within their control is foundational to resilience in adulthood. Parents also help their teenagers by reminding them of the need for good self-care (sleep, exercise, nutrition), nourishing social relationships, and protecting time for rest and recharging activities. Sometimes, parents will think with their teenager about why they are engaged in an activity that is stressful, whether it is authentically important to them, and why. Adolescents should be deepening their sense of identity, interests, talents, and even values, and stressful moments are rich opportunities to do so, with the support of caring adults. Without intentionally building these skills, adolescents will be more prone to managing stress with avoidance or unhealthy coping, such as excessive eating, video gaming, drugs, or alcohol.

Infancy and up: Behavioral healthy habits (sleep, physical activity, nutrition, and screen time)

Healthy habits sound simple, but establishing them is not always easy. The idea of a habit is that it makes managing something challenging or important more automatic, and thus easier and more reliable. Many of the same habits that promote physical health in adulthood also promote mental health: adequate, restful sleep; daily physical activity; a nutritious diet and a healthy relationship with food; and managing screen time in a developmentally appropriate way. Infants depend entirely on their parents for regulation of these behaviors. As their children grow, parents will adapt these routines so that their children are gradually regulating these needs and activities more independently. In each of these areas, children need clear expectations and routines, consistent consequences and positive feedback, and the modeling and patient support of their parents. Educate parents about what good sleep hygiene looks like at each age. Discuss ways to support regular physical activity, especially as a family. Ask the parents about nutrition, including how they manage picky eating; how many family meals they enjoy together; and whether food is ever used to manage boredom or distress. Finally, talk with parents about a developmentally appropriate approach to rules and expectations around screen time and the importance of using family-based rules. Establishing expectations and routines during early childhood means children learn how good it feels to have restful sleep, regular exercise, and happy, healthy family meals. In adolescence, parents can then focus on helping their children to manage temptation, challenge, disappointment, and frustration more independently.

 

 

Infancy and up: Relational health

Children develop the skills needed for healthy relationships at home, and they are connected to all of the skills described above. Children need attuned, responsive, and reliable parenting to build a capacity for trust of others, to learn how to communicate honestly and effectively, to learn to expect and offer compassion and respect, and to learn how to handle disagreement and conflict. They learn these skills by watching their parents and by developing the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral healthy habits with their parents’ help. They need a consistently safe and responsive environment at home. They need parents who are attuned and flexible, while maintaining routines and high expectations. They need parents who make time for them when they are sad or struggling, and make time for joy, play, and mindless fun. While a detailed assessment of how the family is functioning may go beyond a check-up, you can ask about those routines that build healthy habits (family mealtime, sleep routines, screen time rules), communication style, and what the family enjoys doing together. Learning about how a family is building these healthy habits and how connected they are to one another can give you a clear snapshot of how well a child may be doing on their mental health growth curve, and what areas might benefit from more active guidance and support.

Dr. Swick is physician in chief at Ohana Center for Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health, Community Hospital of the Monterey (Calif.) Peninsula. Dr. Jellinek is professor emeritus of psychiatry and pediatrics, Harvard Medical School, Boston. Email them at pdnews@mdedge.com.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, providing us a chance to go beyond discussing the screening, diagnosis, and evidence-based treatments for the mental illnesses of youth. Just as children are developing physical health, they are similarly establishing the foundations for their mental health. The World Health Organization defines good mental health as “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her own community.” While the science of mental health promotion and disease prevention in childhood and adolescence is relatively young, there are several discrete domains in which you can follow and support your patient’s developing mental health. This begins with the well-being of new parents, and then moves into how parents are helping their children to develop skills to manage their basic daily needs and impulses, their thoughts and feelings, their stresses and their relationships. With a little support from you, parents can confidently help their children develop the foundations for good mental health.

First year of life: Parental mental health

Swick_Susan_D_CA_web.jpg
Dr. Susan D. Swick

Perhaps the strongest risk factor for serious mental illness in childhood and adulthood is parental neglect during the first year of life, and neglect in the first several months of life is the most commonly reported form of child abuse. Infant neglect is associated with parental depression (and other mental illnesses), parental substance use, and a parent’s own experience of childhood abuse or neglect. Neglect is more common with teenaged parents and parents living in poverty. Pediatricians are uniquely connected to families during the first year of a child’s life. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends screening new mothers for depression at 1-, 2-, 4-, and 6-month infant check-ups with the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Screen. Even without a positive screen, new parents may need the fortifications of extra community support to adapt to the changes parenthood brings.

At checkups, ask (both) parents how they are managing the stresses of a new baby. Are they getting restful sleep? Do they have social supports? Are they connected to a community (friends, extended family, faith) or isolated? Are they developing confidence as parents or feeling overwhelmed? Simple guidance, such as “sleep when the baby sleeps” and reassurance that taking good care of themselves is taking good care of the baby is always helpful. Sometimes you will need to refer for treatment or to community supports. Have your list of online and in-person resources at the ready to provide parents with these prescriptions. Supporting parental mental health and adjustment in the first year of life is possibly the most important building block for their child’s future mental health.
 

Toddlers and up: Emotional literacy

Emotional literacy (sometimes called “emotional intelligence”) is the capacity to recognize, identify, and manage feelings in oneself and in others. This skill begins to develop in infancy when parents respond to their baby’s cries with attunement, feeding or changing them if needed, and at other times simply reflecting their feelings and soothing them with movement, singing, or quiet talking. As children grow, so does their range of feelings, and their (cognitive) capacity to identify and manage them. Parents support this development by being available whenever their young children experience strong emotions, calmly listening, and acknowledging their discomfort. Parents can offer words for describing those feelings, and even be curious with their young children where in their bodies they are feeling them, how they can stay patient while the feeling passes or things they might be able to do to feel better. Parents may want to remove their child’s distress, but staying calm, curious, and present while helping their child to manage it will build their child’s emotional health. Parents can nurture this development in a less intense way by reading books about feelings together and noticing and identifying feelings in other children or in cartoon characters.

 

 

School-age children: Adding mindfulness

While a child’s cognitive development unfolds naturally, school-age children can cultivate awareness of their thoughts. This becomes possible after awareness of feelings and parents can help their older children consider whether something they are experiencing is a thought, a feeling, or a fact. They do so in the same way they helped their child develop emotional literacy: By responding with calm, curiosity, and confidence every time their child comes to them in distress (especially mild distress, like boredom!) or with a challenge or a question. With a difficult situation, parents start by helping their child to identify thoughts and feelings before impulsively acting on them. Parents can help children identify what’s in their control, try different approaches, and be flexible if their first efforts don’t work. Children need to learn that failing at things is how we learn and grow. Just like learning to ride a bike, it builds their frustration tolerance, their knowledge that they can do difficult things, and that distress subsides. These are critical building blocks for adolescence, when the challenges become greater and they manage them more independently.

Jellinek_Michael_S 2019_web.jpg
Dr. Michael S. Jellinek

Learning “mindfulness” (a practice that cultivates nonjudgmental awareness of one’s own thoughts, feelings, and sensations) can help children (and parents) to cultivate quiet self-awareness outside of moments of difficulty. “Stop, Breathe, and Think” and “Mindful gNATs” are two free apps that are recommended by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry for children (and their parents) to use to practice this awareness of thoughts and feelings.
 

Early and later adolescence: Stress management skills

Building on this awareness of thoughts and emotions, adolescents develop adaptive coping skills by facing challenges with the support of their parents nearby. Parents should still be ready to respond to charged emotional moments with calm and curiosity, validating their child’s distress while helping them to consider healthy responses. Helping their teenager to describe their experience, differentiating feelings from thoughts (and facts), and considering different choices within their control is foundational to resilience in adulthood. Parents also help their teenagers by reminding them of the need for good self-care (sleep, exercise, nutrition), nourishing social relationships, and protecting time for rest and recharging activities. Sometimes, parents will think with their teenager about why they are engaged in an activity that is stressful, whether it is authentically important to them, and why. Adolescents should be deepening their sense of identity, interests, talents, and even values, and stressful moments are rich opportunities to do so, with the support of caring adults. Without intentionally building these skills, adolescents will be more prone to managing stress with avoidance or unhealthy coping, such as excessive eating, video gaming, drugs, or alcohol.

Infancy and up: Behavioral healthy habits (sleep, physical activity, nutrition, and screen time)

Healthy habits sound simple, but establishing them is not always easy. The idea of a habit is that it makes managing something challenging or important more automatic, and thus easier and more reliable. Many of the same habits that promote physical health in adulthood also promote mental health: adequate, restful sleep; daily physical activity; a nutritious diet and a healthy relationship with food; and managing screen time in a developmentally appropriate way. Infants depend entirely on their parents for regulation of these behaviors. As their children grow, parents will adapt these routines so that their children are gradually regulating these needs and activities more independently. In each of these areas, children need clear expectations and routines, consistent consequences and positive feedback, and the modeling and patient support of their parents. Educate parents about what good sleep hygiene looks like at each age. Discuss ways to support regular physical activity, especially as a family. Ask the parents about nutrition, including how they manage picky eating; how many family meals they enjoy together; and whether food is ever used to manage boredom or distress. Finally, talk with parents about a developmentally appropriate approach to rules and expectations around screen time and the importance of using family-based rules. Establishing expectations and routines during early childhood means children learn how good it feels to have restful sleep, regular exercise, and happy, healthy family meals. In adolescence, parents can then focus on helping their children to manage temptation, challenge, disappointment, and frustration more independently.

 

 

Infancy and up: Relational health

Children develop the skills needed for healthy relationships at home, and they are connected to all of the skills described above. Children need attuned, responsive, and reliable parenting to build a capacity for trust of others, to learn how to communicate honestly and effectively, to learn to expect and offer compassion and respect, and to learn how to handle disagreement and conflict. They learn these skills by watching their parents and by developing the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral healthy habits with their parents’ help. They need a consistently safe and responsive environment at home. They need parents who are attuned and flexible, while maintaining routines and high expectations. They need parents who make time for them when they are sad or struggling, and make time for joy, play, and mindless fun. While a detailed assessment of how the family is functioning may go beyond a check-up, you can ask about those routines that build healthy habits (family mealtime, sleep routines, screen time rules), communication style, and what the family enjoys doing together. Learning about how a family is building these healthy habits and how connected they are to one another can give you a clear snapshot of how well a child may be doing on their mental health growth curve, and what areas might benefit from more active guidance and support.

Dr. Swick is physician in chief at Ohana Center for Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health, Community Hospital of the Monterey (Calif.) Peninsula. Dr. Jellinek is professor emeritus of psychiatry and pediatrics, Harvard Medical School, Boston. Email them at pdnews@mdedge.com.

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Swick"},"type":"media","attributes":{"class":"media-element file-medstat_image_flush_left"}}]]Perhaps the strongest risk factor for serious mental illness in childhood and adulthood is parental neglect during the first year of life, and neglect in the first several months of life is the most commonly reported form of child abuse. Infant neglect is associated with parental depression (and other mental illnesses), parental substance use, and a parent’s own experience of childhood abuse or neglect. Neglect is more common with teenaged parents and parents living in poverty. Pediatricians are uniquely connected to families during the first year of a child’s life. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends screening new mothers for depression at 1-, 2-, 4-, and 6-month infant check-ups with the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Screen. Even without a positive screen, new parents may need the fortifications of extra community support to adapt to the changes parenthood brings. </p> <p>At checkups, ask (both) parents how they are managing the stresses of a new baby. Are they getting restful sleep? Do they have social supports? Are they connected to a community (friends, extended family, faith) or isolated? Are they developing confidence as parents or feeling overwhelmed? Simple guidance, such as “sleep when the baby sleeps” and reassurance that taking good care of themselves is taking good care of the baby is always helpful. Sometimes you will need to refer for treatment or to community supports. Have your list of online and in-person resources at the ready to provide parents with these prescriptions. Supporting parental mental health and adjustment in the first year of life is possibly the most important building block for their child’s future mental health.<br/><br/></p> <h2>Toddlers and up: Emotional literacy</h2> <p>Emotional literacy (sometimes called “emotional intelligence”) is the capacity to recognize, identify, and manage feelings in oneself and in others. This skill begins to develop in infancy when parents respond to their baby’s cries with attunement, feeding or changing them if needed, and at other times simply reflecting their feelings and soothing them with movement, singing, or quiet talking. As children grow, so does their range of feelings, and their (cognitive) capacity to identify and manage them. Parents support this development by being available whenever their young children experience strong emotions, calmly listening, and acknowledging their discomfort. Parents can offer words for describing those feelings, and even be curious with their young children where in their bodies they are feeling them, how they can stay patient while the feeling passes or things they might be able to do to feel better. Parents may want to remove their child’s distress, but staying calm, curious, and present while helping their child to manage it will build their child’s emotional health. Parents can nurture this development in a less intense way by reading books about feelings together and noticing and identifying feelings in other children or in cartoon characters. </p> <h2>School-age children: Adding mindfulness</h2> <p>While a child’s cognitive development unfolds naturally, school-age children can cultivate awareness of their thoughts. This becomes possible after awareness of feelings and parents can help their older children consider whether something they are experiencing is a thought, a feeling, or a fact. They do so in the same way they helped their child develop emotional literacy: By responding with calm, curiosity, and confidence every time their child comes to them in distress (especially mild distress, like boredom!) or with a challenge or a question. With a difficult situation, parents start by helping their child to identify thoughts and feelings before impulsively acting on them. Parents can help children identify what’s in their control, try different approaches, and be flexible if their first efforts don’t work. Children need to learn that failing at things is how we learn and grow. Just like learning to ride a bike, it builds their frustration tolerance, their knowledge that they can do difficult things, and that distress subsides. These are critical building blocks for adolescence, when the challenges become greater and they manage them more independently.</p> <p>[[{"fid":"251601","view_mode":"medstat_image_flush_left","fields":{"format":"medstat_image_flush_left","field_file_image_alt_text[und][0][value]":"Dr. Michael S. Jellinek, professor emeritus of psychiatry and pediatrics, Harvard Medical School, Boston","field_file_image_credit[und][0][value]":"","field_file_image_caption[und][0][value]":"Dr. Michael S. Jellinek"},"type":"media","attributes":{"class":"media-element file-medstat_image_flush_left"}}]]Learning “mindfulness” (a practice that cultivates nonjudgmental awareness of one’s own thoughts, feelings, and sensations) can help children (and parents) to cultivate quiet self-awareness outside of moments of difficulty. “Stop, Breathe, and Think” and “Mindful gNATs” are two free apps that are recommended by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry for children (and their parents) to use to practice this awareness of thoughts and feelings.<br/><br/></p> <h2>Early and later adolescence: Stress management skills</h2> <p>Building on this awareness of thoughts and emotions, adolescents develop adaptive coping skills by facing challenges with the support of their parents nearby. Parents should still be ready to respond to charged emotional moments with calm and curiosity, validating their child’s distress while helping them to consider healthy responses. Helping their teenager to describe their experience, differentiating feelings from thoughts (and facts), and considering different choices within their control is foundational to resilience in adulthood. Parents also help their teenagers by reminding them of the need for good self-care (sleep, exercise, nutrition), nourishing social relationships, and protecting time for rest and recharging activities. Sometimes, parents will think with their teenager about why they are engaged in an activity that is stressful, whether it is authentically important to them, and why. Adolescents should be deepening their sense of identity, interests, talents, and even values, and stressful moments are rich opportunities to do so, with the support of caring adults. Without intentionally building these skills, adolescents will be more prone to managing stress with avoidance or unhealthy coping, such as excessive eating, video gaming, drugs, or alcohol.</p> <h2>Infancy and up: Behavioral healthy habits (sleep, physical activity, nutrition, and screen time)</h2> <p>Healthy habits sound simple, but establishing them is not always easy. The idea of a habit is that it makes managing something challenging or important more automatic, and thus easier and more reliable. Many of the same habits that promote physical health in adulthood also promote mental health: adequate, restful sleep; daily physical activity; a nutritious diet and a healthy relationship with food; and managing screen time in a developmentally appropriate way. Infants depend entirely on their parents for regulation of these behaviors. As their children grow, parents will adapt these routines so that their children are gradually regulating these needs and activities more independently. In each of these areas, children need clear expectations and routines, consistent consequences and positive feedback, and the modeling and patient support of their parents. Educate parents about what good sleep hygiene looks like at each age. Discuss ways to support regular physical activity, especially as a family. Ask the parents about nutrition, including how they manage picky eating; how many family meals they enjoy together; and whether food is ever used to manage boredom or distress. Finally, talk with parents about a developmentally appropriate approach to rules and expectations around screen time and the importance of using family-based rules. Establishing expectations and routines during early childhood means children learn how good it feels to have restful sleep, regular exercise, and happy, healthy family meals. In adolescence, parents can then focus on helping their children to manage temptation, challenge, disappointment, and frustration more independently.</p> <h2>Infancy and up: Relational health </h2> <p>Children develop the skills needed for healthy relationships at home, and they are connected to all of the skills described above. Children need attuned, responsive, and reliable parenting to build a capacity for trust of others, to learn how to communicate honestly and effectively, to learn to expect and offer compassion and respect, and to learn how to handle disagreement and conflict. They learn these skills by watching their parents and by developing the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral healthy habits with their parents’ help. They need a consistently safe and responsive environment at home. They need parents who are attuned and flexible, while maintaining routines and high expectations. They need parents who make time for them when they are sad or struggling, and make time for joy, play, and mindless fun. While a detailed assessment of how the family is functioning may go beyond a check-up, you can ask about those routines that build healthy habits (family mealtime, sleep routines, screen time rules), communication style, and what the family enjoys doing together. Learning about how a family is building these healthy habits and how connected they are to one another can give you a clear snapshot of how well a child may be doing on their mental health growth curve, and what areas might benefit from more active guidance and support.</p> <p> <em>Dr. Swick is physician in chief at Ohana Center for Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health, Community Hospital of the Monterey (Calif.) Peninsula. Dr. Jellinek is professor emeritus of psychiatry and pediatrics, Harvard Medical School, Boston. Email them at pdnews@mdedge.com.</em> </p> </itemContent> </newsItem> <newsItem> <itemMeta> <itemRole>teaser</itemRole> <itemClass>text</itemClass> <title/> <deck/> </itemMeta> <itemContent> </itemContent> </newsItem> </itemSet></root>
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